About fears and lemonade

The last couple of weeks were a bit bumpy, rather harsh after some months of constant delirium. I called it pre-midlife crisis, thanks to the fact that it was not about a real problem, more like worrying about something that might happen; namely not getting the chance to join the MA of my dreams (aka. Major Mid-Life Crisis).

I think I’m over now: I have plan B, even plan C, ready in case of failure. Now I’m sitting in a café sipping home-made lemonade, working myself through the week 3 assignment of the latest MOMA-craze.

Thanks to my wonderful, wonderful cousin my motivation letter has just been finalized, and now all I need is the recommendation letters, then I’m all set to hand in my application. (Yes, I haven’t even sent it yet, nevertheless I’m scared to death what the hell I’m going to do if they don’t take me.)

In a few months everything will be up-side-down, hopefully. I should be on a new, much wider path to achieve something I have been thinking about for years. It would be much appreciated if my bad dreams reeking of existential fears were also gone soon. Let’s hope this (slightly too sweet) lemonade will be the last thing reminding me of them. As of now, I consider it an antidote.


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